I literally at times HATE those letters put together... I mean what does "sorry" really mean? Its said so often as a fallback, something that fills that awkward space in a conversation when something not so happy is shared. Well I don't like being told that people feel sorry for me... I don't feel sorry for me so why should someone else. Yes, this situation sucks, and I wouldn't wish this struggle on my worst of enemies but sorry doesn't play into it anywhere...
Dictionary.com defines SORRY as: feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.
2.regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic
3.
sorrowful, grieved, or sad
4.
associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering
5.
Really... Am I wretched, poor wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful
I know it is the easiest thing to say, especially when you can't find or know the words to say much else. Many people cannot fully understand or grasp what this is like, and I know that... I couldn't fully grasp what it was like for my stepmom Shirley to battle breast cancer, I was an outsider, and at times I felt helpless in knowing what to do or say. I am sure I uttered the 5 letters to her or my dad, as I am sure I will not stop hearing those letters said to me.
I am only asking that you please don't tell me you are sorry... I am not unimportant or insignificant. I am just me, struggling with something many others before me, and many more after me will struggle with also.
So, trade those 5 letters I dread to hear, and replace them with 7 I would LOVE to hear... HOPEFUL. I am hopeful that one day we will have a child to call our own, I am hopeful that Gods plan is closely intertwined with our hearts desires, and I am hopeful that not only can I grow stronger through this battle but the end result will be well worth the wait.
(P.S. I am catching up on some blogging the week I am off... So, more from me coming soon!)
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