I can't wait to meet my babies...

I have to start by thanking Amanda Webb, without her and the fact that God laid it upon her heart to pass along this book, I would not be writing this post right now...  On Sunday night I was given the book, "Heaven is for Real" written by Todd Burpo.  I don't want to give too much of the story away but I have not been able to stop reading it since Monday.  (If you know my schedule during the week, you know that the time I actually get to read is minimal.)  YOU HAVE TO GET THE BOOK...  If you even acknowledge there is a God, you HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!!!

There is a chapter titled, "Two Sisters" where Colton (the little boy in the story) walks up to his mom and having no prior knowledge proceeds to tell his mom that he has two sisters.  Long story short (and to not give away much of the book) the 2nd sister he is talking about is the baby that was lost due to a miscarriage between his older sister Cassie and himself.  He met his sister in Heaven, and the sister said she could not wait to meet his parents someday.  They ask Colton his sisters name, and he says she didn't have one because the parents didn't name her...

I WILL SEE MY BABIES ONE DAY... THEY ARE IN HEAVEN WATCHING DOWN ON ME AND THEY CAN'T WAIT TO MEET ME ALSO...

This gave me a peace that I cannot put into words... Now, when I think of the four that I have lost I am happy, I smile and while there might be a tear in my eye, its only there because I am overjoyed. God IS GREAT!

I have to be honest for a minute:  I have never really put a lot of thought into my failed pregnancies (ectopic or miscarriage) as a baby... Well in the sense of holding a baby, rocking a baby, and watching that baby grow.  Yeah, sure they are 50% me, and 50% Brian but they never made it past 8 or 9 weeks, does that really count as a baby?  The answer is YES.  I have four beautiful children waiting for me in Heaven.  God has adopted my earthly children, and will take care of them for me until the day we are reunited.

I am no longer scared of going to Heaven...

The only part of the book that really made me sad was knowing that the baby didn't have a name.  I want Brian and I to give our babies names, they need names in Heaven, and they need names in my heart.  SO, I have complied a list of names, and over the next few weeks I want Brian and I to name the four little ones we have lost... It won't be an easy process but I know it will help bring Brian and I closer, and that is what we need.

The dream I talked about a few posts ago, after reading this book I think might have another meaning... In the dream the little girl is, "special."  The dream took place in a hospital, and the baby girl has some physical abnormalities.  I wonder if this was God and our baby girls way of letting me hold her in my arms, and make her mine before God took her into his heavenly kingdom?

Ok, I am done... GO GET THIS BOOK!!!!  I BEG YOU...  "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo.  YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.